what's next?? prayer beads!

at our sunday gatherings we are focusing on the spiritual disciplines, meaningful ways to connect with God that might feel a little odd, foreign, maybe even wacky. Because of some people’s religious histories, some babies get thrown out with the bathwater. good practices got warped so now there’s a little fear of venturing into certain territories. what we are trying to create is an exposure to some new ideas and give folks a chance to give some new (or old) spiritual practices a try.

during our conversation on the spiritual practice of prayer, the idea of mindfulness—turning our hearts toward God in intentional ways—was tossed around. what came into the conversation was the use of prayer beads to guide prayer. we know in some circles, such a thought is a little taboo. our thought is that things that turn our hearts toward Jesus are worth looking into. our friend sage had created some prayer beads that were helping him with mindfulness toward God. we were intrigued. so what cropped out of that was a house of refuge beading party where people could create prayer beads that were uniquely theirs. no “here’s what you need to pray”—just a venue to get creative on what people might want to focus on intentionally for a while. the finished products were amazing!

so here’s a little backstory from sage, a little history, a little practical example of how his beads work for him & also some pictures of the refuge creations. we will have a bead table & supplies at our sunday february 24th dinner & gathering for those that want to have a chance to create their own.

SAGE: I pray with beads.

I grew up Protestant, spent 20 years away from the church, and have been following Jesus actively for about 3 years now. I love the way folks in the evangelical church pray for and with each other. On my own though, I didn’t.

To help encourage myself in prayer, I peeked over the fence at the practice of using beads to structure prayer. Others do this too- beyond our Catholic bretheren and the less well known practices of Orthodox and some Anglican traditions.

So I made a string of beads (a circle was too much for me), put a cross on one end, and to remind me of rabbi Jesus’ tassels, I put one of those on the other end.

A while after I made it, I was looking into the history of praying with beads. The old english word for prayer was 'bid'. The word bead came from the word 'bid'. Very early Christians fled into the deserts of Egypt to escape Roman persecution. Some had 150 pieces of gravel in a little bag. They’d pull out the handful and remember all 150 psalms as they walked around keeping the faith alive. As it turns out, the very early form of prayer beads (which evolved from that), and pre-dates the rosary, was called the “pater nostrum”--or “our father” beads. It was a string of beads with a cross on one end and a tassel on the other. I had absolutely no idea that what I had created was the same as these early beads. Sometimes you get lucky.

Here's what mine look like:

When making my prayer beads, I chose what fits based on the Bible, creeds, plus spontaeous and “family” prayer. I structured mine this way-


•On the cross I say the Lord’s Prayer.
•The next one is red, and I use it for the opening prayer (invocation)
“Lord, open thou my lips, and my mouth will bring forth thy praise”
• After the red bead, I spelled out ‘refuge’ (the name of our little faith community) friendship bracelet style out of block letters, with blue-green round beads in between.
• So (to keep from babbling, and knowing that thanksgiving is good and I’m lazy) I say a unique and spontaneous prayer of thanksgiving on each blue bead. then
• On each letter bead I say the greatest commandment, also known as the “Jesus Creed”
“I love the Lord with all of my heart, my soul, my strength, and my mind, and I love my neighbor as myself”.
• I alternate between thanks-givings and the Jesus creed ‘till I get to the BIG red bead, where I stop and remember all who are in need around me. I stay on this one as long as I can, trying to remember well. (intercession)
• The next one is gold. I don’t pray with that one. sometimes a bead is just a bead.
• The last one is like the first, and it is for my closing prayer. I sing the doxology (“praise God from whom all blessings flow...”).

and I’m done.

As friends, we got together the other day and made more prayer beads. Each one was a beautiful and unique expression of a prayer life.

In the end, the beads haven’t done a darn thing for me.
The prayers, however, have.

here are some refuge creations. the pictures don't do them justice. we wish we could share what each one meant but just use your imagination. they are truly beautiful prayers:

JENNY - sacred cows

this is a repost from jenny herrick's blog. so good. may we be people willing to give up things that limit Jesus.

PART ONE:

I think one of my resolutions this year will be fewer sacred cows. Having been around the Church block a few times, I've at times found, adopted, rejected, or ignored rallying cries and doctrinal dividing lines along the way. Years ago I was part of discussions (i.e. arguments) to do with eschatological events and I've been fairly certain about different positions on opposite sides of the spectrum at different times! I could back both sides up with scripture. That shows how crazy some of that stuff gets. This is really weird, but I once had my community of faith (during early college years) tell me they "couldn't fellowship with me anymore" because I was asking questions about the Holy Spirit! They believed charismatic experience was "wrong." I wasn't pushed out of the group because I was selling drugs or living with my boyfriend, but for messing with their sacred cow of doctrinal purity according to them.

Another group said I had to be "spirit-filled." Anything liturgical was surely a sign of spiritual deadness and just head knowledge. Only certain people were allowed to pray for other people. I heard one leader say she wouldn't let so-and-so (who by the way loved Jesus) touch her in prayer (afraid she would get slimed), thereby labeling that person as suspect, messed up, demonized or whatever in front of all the hearers. I am not talking about spiritual warfare, which I think is very real, but what seems like unkind pettiness.

I've heard warnings to be ultra-careful about what words come out of the mouth. A negative declaration may come true. Okay, this is a little extreme, but I know someone who will not say she is catching a cold, only that she is "catching a healing." Very important to her, but seems a little like fantasyland to me.

These are admittedly my own absurd examples and in no way reflect the wonderful, wise, loving people I have known in all camps. I am so thankful for what I have learned and experienced from many persuasions in my faith journey. I've had some excellent mentors, too. It's easy to look back and in hind sight see absurdity in some cases, but how many sacred cows do I still hold to (and even feed) that I don't recognize as such? How many times do I think of someone as being "in" or "out" related to my or my group's sacred cow? Do I alter my behavior to please people (whom I want to impress) over Jesus?

This year I hope to become freer from bottom lines that will not hold up over time. In other words, I want to grow in a knowledge of truth that causes me to root deeper in Jesus and his way (the way of love.) That sounds simplistic, but it is not. It is a process of debunking sacred cows that interfere with that along the way as I become aware of them. And friends, I will need you to help me. Are you "in" or "out"?

PART TWO:

Have you noticed how some people are affected by our sacred cows (methods of evangelism, prosperity message, etc...) Consider a portion of I Take My Chances by Mary Chapin Carpenter from one of my all-time favorite albums: Come On, Come On

I take my chances, I don't mind working without a net
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I sat alone in the dark one night, tuning in by remote
I found a preacher who spoke of the light but there was brimstone in his throat
He'd show me the way according to him in return for my personal check
I flipped my channel back to CNN and I lit another cigarette

I take my chances, forgiveness doesn't come with a debt
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I've crossed lines of words and wire and both have cut me deep
I've been frozen out and I've been on fire and the tears are mine to weep
Now I can cry until I laugh and laugh until I cry
So cut the deck right in half, I'll play from either side

In Richard Foster's discussion of Formation Prayer (Prayer, Finding the Heart's True Home pp.60,61), he describes the active pursuit of humility. After all formation has to do with conformity to Christlikeness, so could it be that there is an antidote to some of our sacred cows that has to do with humility? He says:

...in simple terms, humility means to live as close to the truth as possible; the truth about ourselves, the truth about others, the truth about the world in which we live...

It does not mean groveling or finding the worst possible things to say about ourselves. Humility is in fact, filled with power to bring forth life. The word itself comes from the Latin humus, which means fertile ground. "Humility," writes Anthony Bloom, "is the situation of the earth." In one sense humility is nothing more than staying close to the earth. The earth, Bloom reminds us, is always with us, always taken for granted, always walked on by everyone. It is the place where we dump our garbage. "It's there", continues Bloom, "silent and accepting everything and in a miracuous way making out of all the refuse new richness...transforming corruption itself into a power of life and a new possibility of creativeness, open to the sunshine, open to the rain, ready to receive any seed we sow and capable of bringing thirtyfold, sixtyfold, a hundredfold out of every seed." Such is the power of humility.

I want to think more about this power of humility. It sounds like a power for freedom, a power for joy, a power that attracts and makes people curious about the life it enables.

free jesus!

this is written by jim henderson, the director of off the map & author of jim & casper go to church as part of january's issue of idealab, their monthly ezine. we liked it so much we thought we'd pass it on to refuge readers, too. enjoy.

In 1543 Nicolas Copernicus published his treatise De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium (The Revolution of Celestial Spheres) and ushered into popular discourse the phrase “Copernican Revolution.” This Copernican Revolution pitted one powerful paradigm – it’s all about us, against another – it’s all about something outside of us.

When paradigms collide it can make for lots of excitement and provoke tons of resistance from those holding a vested interest in maintaining the status quo… As Tom Friedman the Pulitzer winning journalist once commented “those with power never think about it but those without power think about it all the time”. The unfortunate truth about history (thus far) is that when it comes to powerful paradigm change, the church has often been on the side of the resisters.

Peter Drucker said, “Every few hundred years in Western society there occurs a sharp transformation. Within a few short decades, society rearranges itself… We are currently living through such a transformation.” Apparently, Drucker believed that we’re currently living through a cultural transformation unlike anything that has happened since the 18th Century. That would include the American Revolution, the Civil War, World Wars I and II, the atomic bomb and even the Beatles! What if there’s a Copernican Revolution going on and we don’t “see” it, what if we’re on the wrong side again?

Exploiting Discontinuity
Napoleon made a name for himself by doing two things, (1) He chose to sneak up on his enemies instead fighting them head on and (2) he actually killed people. Prior to this, warfare in Europe was more like a professional sport. Generals were like attorneys. Feudal lords would hire the best Generals to lead their private armies into a battle where no one actually fought very similar to our judicial system where most cases are negotiated rather than litigated. Each General would attempt to gain an advantageous position on his opponent in anticipation that the loser would “sue” for an end to the war/game. No one wanted to waste their resources so once it became clear who would most likely win – they would break out the wine glasses, sit down and negotiate an agreement. By choosing to kill people Napoleon exploited the discontinuity and became the ruler of France (for awhile).

How can we exploit the discontinuity in our world and use it to advance this opportunity to free Jesus from the stranglehold religion has placed on him and once again take him public?

Why Do We Follow Culture
Where did the Jesus movement lose its edge?
How did we get in bed with power?
Where did we learn to follow rather than lead culture?
Where is Jesus in this thing we call Christianity?
How did we get into the religion business anyway?
Where could you take Jesus to church and not feel like you had to explain it to him?

In Transforming Mission, David Bosch writes “Jesus had no intention of founding a new religion”

Somewhere along the line the Jesus Movement got into the religion business.

This is so commonly accepted that I rarely hear it questioned and yet Jesus never said one thing about his movement adopting the world religions business model. What he did do was talk obsessively about advancing his movement (a.k.a. kingdom)

How did it happen that we went into the business of church and religion?
What happened to the Jesus Movement?
How did Jesus the Savior subsume Jesus the Servant?
Why do we Christians typically react to changes in culture rather than lead them?

Free Jesus.

Off The Map is the organization I started seven years ago to help take Jesus public again.

Free Jesus!

Sounds arrogant doesn’t it? But if Drucker and Bosch are correct then this is a great time to attempt such a rescue.

In case you didn’t get the memo…Jesus is not part of the public dialog on spirituality – We’ve ceded that ground to the Dali Lama, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins and Oprah.

What if Jesus was once again public property?
What if following in the way of Jesus involved more than right beliefs?
What if followers of Jesus led this movement and took the spirituality of serving public?
What if Jesus was seen as the founder of a movement that serves others – instead of one that judges others?
What if the Jesus movement got out of the beliefs business and back into the serving business where it all started?

Free Jesus!

KATHY - the desert

the desert is one of the nastiest places to get lost without food and water. the heat, the elements, the lack of water can be deadly if you’re out there for an extended time, unexpectedly. there’s really nothing pleasant about it--exposed to sun, wind, intense heat, predators, without shade or shelter. while a lot of us may not have ever been stuck in a physical desert, my guess is a lot of us have been stuck in a spiritual one. out in the desert, alone, exhausted, seeking water & shelter and finding none. wondering “when am i going to be rescued? when is God going to show up? when will i even get just a small sip of water, a sign from God, a flutter in my heart, something, that will carry me a little longer?” the spiritual desert is one of the worst places to be because it’s so confusing. if God is so good, then why is he absent? i am showing up, trying to be present, doing my part, and nothing’s changing. what happened? what did i do wrong? how come other people are experiencing God’s love, hope, spirit at work, and i’ve got nothing?

there are no good answers to these questions, really. i don’t understand the desert, either. i have been there myself. seasons where i just don’t feel God the way i used to, the way i long to. i strain and strain to see but everywhere i look i just don’t see what i was hoping for. i begin to question my faith. doubt God. shake my fist at God. ponder just throwing in the towel.

in evangelical christianity, the desert experience sometimes can feel like it has “something to do with us.” if we pray more, serve more, memorize more, get out of ourselves more, anything “more” we’ll “get back on track with God again” and out of the desert quickly. i’m not discounting we play a part, but i think this philosophy creates shame. the reason we’re not feeling or experiencing God is because i’m not doing it the way i should be. i am so familiar with this feeling. when i hear someone talk about how excited they are about God, i am sometimes jealous. and then i immediately go to shame—see, i am not doing what i am supposed to be doing to “get” God. if i only i were a better Christian. it’s all so stupid, really, but i am just being honest about how messed up i got with performance-based christianity.

our spiritual fathers and mothers—christian teachers and mystics and writers over the centuries—all recognized something very powerful about the desert experience. it is part of our journey with God and places where we might learn the very most about ourselves, about Jesus. st. john of the cross, over 500 years ago, experienced what he called “the dark night of the soul”, a complete absence of God for a season. while it seems like a horrible thing in the moment, terrifying, really, this kind of spiritual desolation is looked upon by many spiritual writers as a critical piece of spiritual transformation where everything gets stripped away (all of our works, efforts, techniques) and get down to the essence—God & us. that can sound pretty lofty. maybe even just a trite idea.

but like a lot of trite things, there can be some incredible truth in the triteness.

when all is gone, nothing left, just my weird crazy self straining to see God, feel God, hear God. maybe that’s where the real action happens. but i just don’t see it in the moment. and when i don’t get it, i’m out. i’m mad. i start to walk out to the desert on purpose.

but what i’m wondering these days is if maybe some of my “desert experience” is just that my faith and connection to God has made shifts over the past years & because it’s different it feels somehow “dry” in comparison. what used to be part of our relationship isn’t anymore and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. our relationship is just….different. i still long for the days of the passionate romance where i was just so “in” to the Bible & church & the spiritual high. i’m beginning to embrace that while that was good, real, true for that season, i am just in a different season, and if i look and notice, i see and experience God’s presence still, but it’s just not quite as exciting. i’m not saying i want to settle for less.

i am saying i need to learn to see the good in what is.

meanwhile, i know a lot of us out there feel like they are in the desert. tired. holding on by a thread, wondering when God is going to show up. i don’t have any great answers like i used to, but i do know this. i think we’re supposed to stay in and keep our hearts as open as we are able to. listen for Jesus’ love in some small way you’d never imagine. how we end up experiencing Him might end up being completely contrary to how we’ve ever experienced God before. you are not alone. something bigger is always happening that we cannot see in the moment. and probably what’s been the most sustaining to me when i am lost and wandering: never underestimate what God might be saying through people. sometimes the only thing i have had to hold on to is the word of a friend, God speaking to me through a person.

God, when we’re in the desert, bring us drink. a small cup of water, something that reminds us you’re there. give us strength to hold on, to wait. bring life out of barrenness. remind us what is good. and give us eyes to see even when we’re blinded by our thirst. Amen.

sophisticated toddlers

we always say at the refuge that we are just babies at this. we are less than 2 years old, toddlers, really, when it comes to planting a new community. a few months ago we met a pastor of a sweet little church in east denver who told us that his congregation was pretty young—only 22 years old! it made us laugh because we always think we’re so far behind. then we remember that most of our friends who are pastoring other communities have been at it a long time; they are 8, 9, 10 years ahead of us. sometimes we get really distorted thinking, kind of like the toddler or preschooler who thinks they should be able to do something that the older kids are doing. they get frustrated because they just...can’t. there are many things we’d love to do and try and experience but we just aren’t quite ready for it yet. maturity takes too long!

but at the same time, the crazy part of the refuge is that even though we are young, just babies learning to walk, we also have this incredibly weird sophistication when it comes to connection, community, love. like little kids who naturally play and laugh and make up games we don’t have foundations or structures that we “should have” according to the church planting books, and boy do we suck at raising money, but something really wild and beautiful is happening. In a strange way, it is often the adult world that spoils the wonder and joy of being a child. no amount of planning or money can produce the uninihabited joy of children.

so who knows what 2008 will bring. remember, we’re just learning to walk. this means lots of bruises, bumps, maybe even stitches. we’re glad we’re in this together. as we wrap up this year and look forward to the next, here are some of our milestones, and boo-boos of 2007:

boo-boos:
...wrap things in bubble wrap and hand them out in the service
...have a spontaneous service project instead of a worship service (we will continue to want to serve, but maybe give folks a heads up!)
...a december baptism, outside, at nightinvite cupid’s brother to valentine’s day party and let him leave his shirt off
...can you say “technical difficulties”?
...underestimating how long it would take to finish a basement!
...sneaking gogurts into joshua station & assuming the sugar wouldn’t affect the kids

milestones:
...embracing that the refuge will always have “technical difficulties”
...inviting jim & casper to come to denver for dialogue instead of debate
...a wonderful Christmas present—news from the IRS we got our 501c3!
...inviting mrs. claus back to the refuge for the single mom’s “tea” (only to discover she’s as bitchy as ever)
...the 2nd annual refuge camping trip – glorious baptisms & crazy tube rides
...finishing marna’s basement for future single moms to find refuge
...including creative expressions of communion each week as part of our culture
...mastering the fine art of serving a special meal to the residents of joshua station without dessert.

we would love your memories, so help us out, what are some of your memories of 2007?

CHRISTA - Mary: An Intimate Moment

better late than never, our 4th week of advent focused on mary and the beauty & ugliness of that crazy christmas night. this was part of our christmas eve, eve gathering, adapted from ken gire's "intimate moments with the savior".

I see him. Oh little one, I see you. So short a time ago I held you. Close to me. I see him. I remember shepherds and wise men. It only seems like yesterday.

For the census, the royal family has to travel 85 miles. Joseph walks, while Mary, nine months pregnant, rides on a donkey, feeling every jolt, every rut, every rock in the land. By the time they arrive, the small hamlet of Bethlehem is swollen from an influx of travelers. The inn is packed, people feeling lucky if they found a small space on the floor. Now it is late, everyone is asleep and there is no room. But fortunately, the innkeeper is not all shekels and mites. True, his stable is crowded with his guests’ animals, but if they could squeeze out a little privacy there, they were welcome to it.

Joseph looks over at Mary, whose attention is concentrated on fighting a contraction. “We’ll take it” he tells the innkeeper without hesitation. The night is still when Joseph creaks open the stable door. As he does, a chorus of barn animals makes note of the intrusion. The stench is pungent and humid. A small oil lamp, lent them by the innkeeper, flickers on the walls. A disquieting place for a woman in the throes of childbirth. Far from home. Far from family. Far from what she had expected for her firstborn.

And little Mary full of grace. With the tears upon her face had no mother’s hand to hold. No mother’s hand to hold.

For Mary, it is a relief just to get off the donkey. She leans against the wall, feet swollen, back aching, contractions growing stronger and closer together.

Noble Joseph.

Joseph’s eyes dart around the stable. Quickly. A feeding trough for a bed. Hay would serve as bedding. Blankets? Blankets? His robes. And those rags hung out to dry would help. A gripping contraction doubles Mary over and sends him racing for a bucket of water. Noble Joseph.

The birth would not be easy, either for the mother or child. For every royal privilege for this son ended at conception.

A scream from Mary knifes through the calm of the night. Joseph returns, water sloshing from a bucket. The top of the baby’s head has already pushed it’s way into the world. Sweat pours from Mary’s contorted face as Joseph. Noble Joseph at her side. Callused hands and weary eyes rushes to her side. There were no midwives to be found in the streets of David’s town, in the middle of the night. Noble Joseph at her side.

The involuntary contractions are not enough and Mary has to push with all her strength, as if God were refusing to come into the world without her help. Joseph places a garment beneath her, and with a final push and a long sigh her labor is over.

The Messiah has arrived.

Elongated head from the constricting journey through the birth canal. Light skin, as the pigment will take days or even weeks to surface. Mucus in his ears and nostrils. Wet and slippery from the amniotic fluid.

The Son of the Most High God

Umbilically tied to a Jewish girl. The baby chokes and coughs. Joseph instinctively turns him over and clears his throat. Then the baby cries.

Mary bares her breast and reaches for the shivering baby. She lays him on her chest, and his helpless cries subside. His tiny head bobs around on the unfamiliar terrain. This will be the first thing the infant-king learns. Mary can feel his racing heartbeat as he reaches to nurse. Deity nursing from a young woman’s breast.

Could anything be more puzzling - or more profound?

Joseph sits, exhausted. silent. full of wonder...The baby finishes and sighs, the divine Word reduced to a few unintelligible sounds. Then, for the first time, his eyes fix on his mother’s. Deity straining to focus. The Light of the World, squinting.

What child is this? What child...

Tears pool in her eyes. She touches his tiny hands. And hands that once sculpted mountain ranges cling to her finger.

The virgin sings her lullaby... Joy, joy for Christ is born. Joy Joy Joy.

Mary looks up at Joseph, and through a watery veil, their souls touch. He crowds closer, cheek to cheek with his betrothed.

Together they stare in awe. not flesh of my flesh. Joy, joy for Jesus in born, son of my love. They stare in awe.

How can this be?

They stare in awe at the baby. Jesus. Whose heavy eyelids begin to close. It has been a long journey.

And so, with barely a ripple of notice, God stepped into the warm lake of humanity. without protocol and without pretension.

Except for Joseph, there was no one to share Mary’s pain. Or her joy. Yes there were angels announcing the Savior’s arrival, but only to a band of shepherds. And yes, a magnificent star shone in the sky to mark his birthplace, but only a few foreigners bothered to look up and follow.

Thus, in the little town of Bethlehem the royal birth of God’s son tiptoed quietly by as the world slept.

I think it's important to read, listen, engage in things that help us to think about Mary as a real person, really doing this incredible thing with God and for God. Mary really lived and gave birth to a baby boy. Joseph really existed and chose to stay by her side and accept Jesus as his own son.

She is so much more than a figurine with a blue head piece staring with ceramic eyes at a painted baby. She engaged in life with God and because of this endured such incredible joy and suffering. What a woman! What grace!

May we all pray for a bit of her grace as we end this year. May we have the courage to accept God's word (from an angel or a friend or a song on the radio) and follow through and say "yes" to the task set before us. May we like Mary have the grace to respond to life and sing "I'm bursting with God-news; I'm dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened-I'm the most fortunate woman/man on earth!"

Amen.

SAGE - Anna & Simeon: So Faithful It Was Strange

we're on week 3 in the urban skye advent guide.

Since Anna and Simeon are “post creche” figures, I never paid any attention to them. The Christmas eve gospel readings left them out too. But sure enough, there they are. A couple of old folks praising baby Jesus. That is easy to imagine--like bringing your progeny to a great-grandparent, of course they’re going to be happy.

This is, however, no ordinary blessing--which is why it lives in the sacred story. It occurs as part of Jesus’ circumcision and dedication to God. And these were the elders who were present and shone on that sacred occasion. The fact that Anna and Simeon were very old is important. It calls attention to the way they have lived their lives and what that means.

Throughout this advent season we have paid attention to how the first ones who recognize Jesus as Lord were misfits. That is true of Anna and Simeon also, but for different reasons than the others. These two were super devout--way beyond basic religiosity. It is helpful to know that Jews didn’t have monasteries and usually kept themselves involved with normal community life. There was a special vow you could take (the nazarite vow, from Numbers) to bring you closer to God, but it was usually for a limited period of time. The only ones I know of in ible history who were life-long nazarites (not related to nazarines) were Sampson and John the Baptist. One of the signs of the vow is to not cut the hair, which explains a lot about Sampson’s deal.

Anyhow, to live that way was exceptional, and to live as Anna did- IN the temple for 84 years, man, that’s kinda weird. One of the gifts that come with this devotion is prophesy. Their culture apparently knew how to nurture and support people who hear God talking to them. These days, you can’t do that sort of thing...Anna would be another homeless lady with a shopping cart and frayed mittens saying “God bless you” over a cup of coffee.

This kind of devotion gave Anna and Simeon a different set of expectations for their lives. They didn’t expect to see their fortunes grow, or get a Wii, or something normal like that. They expected no less than to see the fulfillment of God’s great covenantal promise within their own lifetimes. And they waited—then recognized it when he arrived--and blessed him.

Simeon had faith that this was coming and delivered a powerful prophesy. He then gave thanks that his life’s work had been completed. In the Bible it mentions that after Anna had delivered her blessing, she went and told everyone she saw what God had done. Can you imagine it--a woman who nobody had ever seen (outside of the temple) for four generations suddenly steps out and starts praising God and announcing the arrival of the Messiah? Truly exceptional.

My hope is to be mindful of their patience, their faithfulness, their focus--and especially their joy.

MIKE: week two of advent: why are the shepherds in the nativity scene?

when i was 12 years old i asked my grampa to help me built a nativity set. we set about collecting some old tree branches and some scraps of wood and started our project. i have set this scene up almost every year since. i went to woolworth's and picked out the figures i would need. of course, i started with Jesus, mary and joseph. then i needed three kings, a camel and a donkey. and lastly i needed some shepherds. i had to have three, because it balanced out the 3 kings on the other side. i never knew why i needed shepherds. the kings brought gifts and Jesus, mary, and joseph surely needed to be there. but why shepherds? what was the reason for them? they didn't do anything. or did they?

in the day of old, the shepherds were close to, if not at, the bottom of the social status, but they were the first to hear of the unique birth of Christ. these humble men who were faithful at their regular jobs--not the religious leaders or scholars--were the first humans to hear the good news. i believe there is a world of meaning in the fact that very ordinary people busy with very ordinary tasks were who God chose to first show his plan of redemption. it means that where God places us, no matter how humble or broken, is the place of our vision, the place where we will bloom. secondly, the ones whose lives are not cluttered with all the materials of life are most readily open to the mysteries of God and take the risk to step out in faith, because they have nothing to lose.

so, you might ask, what big risk did these guys take? . they overcame their fear. let's face it, an angel coming out of nowhere or thousands of them singing praise to God would have scared the crap out of me. and what about going to tell others about a baby born in a stable who would be the son of God. there was the fear others would consider them crazy. but they went. they were somehow compelled to go. and God’s plan of redemption had another unveiling.

that's a nice story, but does it have any application for us or was dr. luke trying to fill pages in a letter? we, like the shepherd have a story. that is all we really have to share with anyone. and ours, like theirs, comes from the messiness and brokenness of our lives. but like them we need to overcome our fear. for most of us, one of our biggest fears is the fear of being vulnerable. there is a lot of safety in keeping the brokenness and messiness of our lives to ourselves. we can take that story, share it and further the kingdom, like the shepherds did, or stay in our own pity party and let the suffering we've had go to waste.

this week God brought me in contact with two precious ladies who are in the midst of some major chapters in the story of their lives. one faced a life changing surgery in order to save her life from cancer. as i visited with her before surgery she shared the story of a neighbor, whose was very hard to connect with. the neighbor is old and needs help with a husband who has alzheimers. my friend recently found out this neighbor had the same surgery she was facing. my friend remarked: "God has now given me entry into my neighbor’s life, because we have both faced this same surgery. isn't He good?". the other lady is much younger and battling drugs and alcohol. though she still has a way to go in her fight for sobriety, she is looking forward to the day her struggles brings glory to God and healing to others. as i talked with her about her future she said something that so impressed me. she said if i never do anything with the story God has given to me it is just a story with no benefit. if i can beat this i want to be able to share with other teens so my story can make a difference in their lives. otherwise, she said it won't count for anything.

i know many face a life that is just brutal. many times it seems hopeless. whether it be a broken relationship, no relationship, lack of money or a job, an addiction, a physical or mental condition, abuse, discrimination or anything that keeps us marginalized, God can use it to take his good news to a hurting world. this christmas season i would gently encourage all of us to take that step of faith that the shepherds did, to respond instead of be paralyzed with fear and see the glory of the Lord revealed.

KATHY - week one of advent....the magi: pagans who see God

it’s 4 weeks until christmas. hard to believe. i know it’s a really sucky time of year for a lot of people. the darkness sets in, depression about money, relationships, life stuff, and the reality of how hard it is to pull off this life somehow becomes more apparent. for me, the holidays usually just feel overwhelming. too many things to do, the days are shorter, the list of to-dos are longer, and next thing i know it’s new years eve and i missed the reason for the season completely. so i am glad the refuge is going to journey together through an advent guide (put together by our friends at urban skye) for the next 4 weeks leading up to christmas. i need the help. i need the focus. i need to turn my eyes and heart and mind toward Jesus and not kohl’s and target and all the things i didn’t do this year that i had meant to. for the first christmas in a long time i feel a tug in my heart, a deeper desire than usual to peel away all of the crap and distractions and help me remember Jesus.

one of the things i have always loved the most about Jesus is he always attracted the outcasts, the outsiders, the unlikelies. in week one of the urban skye advent guide, we meet the magi (aka the 3 wise men). i always forget that they were total pagans, magicians, astrologers, men as far away from jewish culture as you could possibly get. yet, they were drawn. they heard that the messiah was being born & they just picked up and started following a star. they were drawn toward bethlehem. mystically. magically. a powerful tug to “get to him.”

i think that is how Jesus always was for the outcasts. when i look at all of the people in the gospels who were drawn to him, it was always the ones on the outside of “religion” that couldn’t get to him fast enough. like moths to the flame, the losers, the shameful, the sick, the lame, the naughty moved toward Jesus while the religious were repelled by him. the outcasts dropped everything, made their ways through the crowd, climbed trees, were lowered through roofs, crashed parties, followed stars to get to him. they almost couldn’t help themselves. when i was new to my faith i was the same way. full of shame and self-hatred i would do almost anything i could to get to Jesus. i was desperately drawn.

and then the weirdest thing happened—over time i moved from being an outsider to an insider. i learned the rules, i integrated into the “system,” and over time i systematically lost some of the real passion and need for him that started me on my journey. i know this is typical for a lot of people, i am not unique, but i began to need “church” and structures and approval in systems instead of needing Jesus. the beauty and mystery and desperation dissipated into orderliness. “do these things and you will be a real christian.”

i don’t know what a real christian is anymore. the definitions i used to use definitely don’t make sense to me any longer. i am redefining everything i have learned. but i do know that it is easy to move from outsider to insider and miss the whole point. i also know that people these days are not drawn like a moth toward the blazing flame of the church. in fact, they are running in the opposite direction.

but i think people are still drawn in crazy ways toward Jesus. the christmas story, when i really take a step back and look at it, reminds me that what we think, what the system, the world thinks, is usually not what God thinks. through Jesus, God turned all of that upside down and shows us that it is in the most unlikely person we find our saviour.

so i find myself this december in awe of the magi, 3 men drawn to a messiah who was not born in a palace and swathed in royal robes. instead he was just a little simple baby boy born surrounded by stinky animals & hay. no pomp, no circumstance. no arrogance. just a humble birth under the stars that somehow changed the world forever. i’ll never fully get my head around all the ins and outs of Jesus’ virgin birth and the wild things that followed. sometimes when i tell the story out loud, i am like “yeah, it’s a wacky one, that’s for sure, pretty unreal and hard to get our head around.” i wish as christians we’d be more honest about how crazy the story really is!

but here’s what feels real to me. more real maybe than ever. when i look, listen, still my heart, i’m sort of like a moth to the flame, like the magi following the star.... i keep getting drawn his direction. in need of the hope he somehow offers. the beauty he points to despite the ugliness. the light he seems to bring in the midst of darkness.

KARL - The Fear of "L"

Beware: not a funny blog. boring, actually, but for a small section, perhaps interesting.

Most of my Christian life I have been afraid of “L”

It is similar to when I was in grade school, and more than anything I did not want to be a sissy. I don’t think a worse epithet could be hurled at me. So great was my fear that I not only did all I could to avoid that label, but I of course avoided those who were identified as sissies. But what exactly is a sissy?

When I first became a Christ follower in high school, the only Christians I knew were very conservative evangelicals. I am really grateful for the bible training I received, but the constant fear of “L” is a lingering effect. The threat of “L” is still a weapon used today, and the ramifications can be painful.

Liberal was the worst category of people, for they were bright, educated, and wrong. To be liberal was wrong in moral or willful ways, not simply ideology. While in Bible College and seminary I was taught it was the greatest threat to the cause of Christ and the kingdom of God. But what exactly is liberal?

I understand that politically some who would prefer to see a more equitable distribution of wealth via government action are liberals. But by any definition they are the enemies of conservatives. I have always been on the conservative team, and thus my enemies were liberals.

Here is what happens then in real life: I am confronted with an issue regarding politics, sex, money, heaven, etc. Responding was never really very difficult because I used to know exactly what my team thought. I could give a “right” answer, and I knew it was right because it was agreed to by all my friends and it was conservative. Ah, so comforting. But what happens if you start to think a thought that you know is not conservative? (think, what happens if I cry on the playground?)
Fear. Fear that my conservative friends will think I am liberal. And then I won’t have any friends.

I am in new phase of life, where I want to think thoughts that scare me, and might not be conservative. But I am afraid I will be without friends. Long story, old message. We all want friends, and that desire clouds much of what we do. I miss the clarity. It was so much easier. I don’t really want to have to make all new friends. Can it be okay to have a just a little bit of L? I can already hear the voices “it’s a slippery slope...”

Or maybe I just need new friends?

SAM - Less is More

I’ve used this video recently in a church classroom from You Tube titled Shift Happens to create conversation about globalization and explore the truths about our ever increasing globally connected society. Of the many mind boggling statements in the video, one of the most notable in the video was, “Did you know…we’re living in exponential times.” This was followed by example after example of where our current state of consciousness globally is to make more, create more, dream more, have more, produce more, see more, more, more, more. Well, you get the point. Which leads me to the conclusion, that since we live in Exponential Times we must be headed for an Exponential Faith. But what does that really mean?

Sunday night I sat in on a “Bible Study” that was all about Jesus. The topic of discussion was “Learning to slow your busy life down as Jesus did and make time to connect with God and/or be in God’s presence.” Not a bad topic at all. Scripture gives us examples of Jesus “getting away” to pray and such in Luke 4:42, Luke 5:15-16, Matthew 14:22-23, Luke 6:12…and I’m sure you could find more if you studied the Bible or just Googled it. Given all that good stuff, the reflection about Christ finding time to “chill” was a good one, until half way into the study I heard the magic word, the global word, the exponentially suggestive word...more. Once that word more is introduced in a faith study it’s like the shifting of the tectonic plates for some reason. The conversation shifted from an acknowledgement and identification of Jesus’ human need to take some time to step back from “busy life” to a formula of how we could have an exponential faith. And this is where I start to get uncomfortable.
Perhaps it’s the type of Christian I am, or lack of being a real Christian for that matter depending on how you receive the rest of this post, but I cringe at the idea of more of anything when it comes to looking at one’s spiritual life and thinking it’s not good enough where it is. I’ll admit I am an advocate for growth, absolutely without a doubt, though I advocate for a transformational learning approach towards growth, versus a transactional learning approach towards growth. The difference is this (defined in oversimplified terms):

Transactional Learning approach: a process becoming changed primarily by gaining factual knowledge.
Transformational Learning approach: a process of getting beyond gaining factual knowledge alone to instead become changed by what one learns in some meaningful way.

In my experience, when you engage Scripture to extract from it formulas to have more faith, more love, more trust, more healing, more strength, more Jesus, more God, more, more, more…in the least of these it produces more guilt. I would venture to say, that not simply for the least, but for most of us it produces more guilt somewhere down the road. More than likely it’s when we come to the realization that most of us can’t take these formulas and create more of anything. Consequently we’re left with ourselves and our ordinary faith. Then we feel like shit because we couldn’t be like Jesus.

I must confess I do believe we are living in exponential times, and therefore more of some things are needed. I would argue that we need more opportunities to engage in spiritual formation, which come forcefully through transformational learning. Primarily through engaging the kinds of people Jesus did, the least and the last, whatever that looks like in your context. I would challenge us all to go for it, but have no expectations of yourself, of others, or of Jesus. Just enter into community with others and be…then be yourself. Remember, you are loved wherever you are, and then remember you are invited to go a little further. Accepting that invitation will lead you to take one step forward, two steps back, and that’s just fine. Just start walking and remember, transformational learning is a two way street, which is best experienced when it means something to you, not some formula someone gave you.

Sam also blogs at www.geographyofgrace.com.

brian mclaren shares with the refuge!

the following was part of our november 2007 vertigo, the monthly refuge ezine (if you are interested in subscribing, click here). we have always known we wanted the refuge to be a missional community, deeply committed to global & local social justice. we want to stay connected to bigger conversations that are happening in the world because there are great thinkers out there stirring the pot & causing others to consider hard & challenging issues on how to live out the ways of Jesus in the midst of this broken & crazy world. one of those voices is brian mclaren. some of you have read his books, that include a new kind of christian, a generous orthodoxy, the secret message of Jesus. a former english teacher & pastor, he has been a key voice in challenging christians to consider how we can live the Kingdom of God now. he is booked solid for 2008 on a tour for his new book, everything must change (a worth read for sure!), but somehow in the midst of his crazy schedule he took time to answer the refuge's request for an interview.

your books & teachings have been making a pretty big impact on the current christian culture. you are stirring the pot and causing people to really question what they believe about life as a christian. why do you think the message you are sharing has become so powerful?

At this point, I think my work has been more provocative than powerful. I hope it will be powerful in the sense of motivating more and more people first to see, then to care, then to act, and then to make a difference. Here's what I mean: I was talking to Jim Wallis the other day, and we were talking about the change in the wind that we both feel - that more and more Christians are seeking an integral or holistic understanding of the faith, one that puts personal spirituality and social justice together. But then Jim added, "But 30,000 more people died yesterday from preventable diseases. Until that number goes down to 20,000, and 10,000 and 1,000, we aren't really making the difference that's needed."

For that to happen - for us to move from thought to feeling to faith-in-action to Spirit-empowered-change - it takes groups like The Refuge working all this out on the ground in their neighborhoods, which is why I'm so thrilled to be talking with you.

I think that we all can feel a change is in the air. Something is trying to be born. Something is trying to take root. We feel the Holy Spirit groaning deep inside us, refusing to let us be complacent and satisfied. I hope my books are a little shred of those groanings, and that they're resonating with the groanings other people feel.


what do you think isn't working too well in the contemporary american church? what still amazes you about it?

I like the way you phrase that. I think a lot is going well, so uch really. But at the end of the day, I think Dallas Willard is right: we have a "great omission" in our "great commission" which means that we're making Christians (or born-agains or charismatics or Baptists or Pentecostals or whatever) but not necessarily making disciples of Jesus the Liberating King. To put it more strongly, we're better at making Christian consumers than we are at forming love-and-good-works-producers.

But a lot does still amaze me ... a little Anglican church in Canada where people faithfully come to say and mean the Lord's prayer and celebrate the eucharist and confess their sins and be sent out "to love and serve the Lord" - it's a small miracle, really. A big megachurch in the US that's mobilizing it's people to address racism and poverty. A pentecostal super-megachurch in El Salvador that started a recycling center because they believe the Holy Spirit not only produces healings but also environmental responsibility. There are ten thousand beautiful stories like these.


Jesus had a lot to say about injustice, power, and the least of these. why do you think it's been so easy for us to ignore injustices both locally and globally? what do you think we're afraid of?

One of the big reasons is that we've been taught to read the Bible in special ways that blind us to a lot of its power. We've been taught to spiritualize and segment and hyper-analyzie and focus on trees and miss the forest. And I think you're right when you imply that fear is a big part of it.

Partly, I think we're afraid of change. But before we even get to that, I think we're afraid of being criticized. A lot of our religious communities run on fear: ask the wrong question and you're seen with suspicion. Don't be satisfied with the standard answer and you're out the door, with people talking about you behind your back. This atmosphere of fear accounts for a lot of our religious behavior, I think.


the title of this newest book is everything must change: Jesus, global crisis & a revolution of hope. why must everything change? what do you think is going to happen if we don't change?

Jesus taught us to pray, "Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." So, wherever we see God's will not being done ... wherever God's dreams for our earth aren't coming true ... that's where change is needed. Of course, it doesn't happen all at once: I'm not calling for violent revolution or careless insurgency. How the change happens is as important as that it happens: it happens quietly, but steadily, like yeast working in bread, like light penetrating darkness, like salt flavoring or preserving food, like fertilizer transforming soil so gardens can thrive.

In the book, I describe the peculiar and rather startling situation we're now in: we've developed a large population, a huge rate ofglobal consumption and waste production, and a complex and somewhat fragile economic system supported by the most dangerous weapon systems in the history of history. This puts all of us at risk. I'd rather leave it up to readers' imaginations to answer your question about what happens if we do nothing ... because it's not a pretty picture.

The good news is - and really, the book is about hope and good news -if we have faith as big as a sesame seed on a bagel, we can begin to turn things around. With God, nothing is impossible, and so mountains of injustice can be moved, and valleys of poverty can be filled in. I really believe that!


you travel a lot and see a depth & breadth of injustice in the world that many aren't aware of. which injustices have gotten under your skin the most?

I suppose religious injustice comes to the surface first: religious people who use their holy texts - whether the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, or whatever - to legitimize the status quo or justify meanness. That makes me sick.

But beyond that, I've been thinking of economic injustice the most. I've been asking how can we turn capitalism around so that it becomes an engine not just of win-lose competition ... us versus them, me versus you ... but instead becomes a catalyst for collaboration, you and me together for the common good. I guess you'd call it capitalism with a conscience. I'm really inspired dreaming about an ethical buying movement, where we use the democracy of dollars to work for global social justice. Wouldn't it be great to go into a store and find a code or rating on every product ... so that we had the chance to choose products that were produced by means that are socially and environmentally sustainable? I really believe that's something that we as people of faith could make happen, and it could make a real difference for billions of people.


we agree with you, that as Christians we have spent a lot of our time & energy in the wrong place--focusing on what we need to do to get to heaven, instead of thinking about how to live out the Kingdom here on earth. what are some ways you believe we can live the Kingdom now?

For Jesus, it starts with how we treat our neighbors. So you're white and you're getting on the bus or you're walking into a party - where do you sit and who do you try to get to know? Another white person of your social class and race? Or do you specifically look for "the other" - the woman with a Muslim head scarf, or the kid with a bunch of tattoos, or the African American teenager standing in the corner? A smile on the sidewalk, an extra kind word in the check-out line ... these small actions add up.

Of course, it's an election year, and so we all need to take voting seriously. As I see it, as a follower of Jesus, I can't simply vote my self-interest. I have to vote on behalf of the salmon and the warblers and the desert tortoises who don't have anyone voting for them. I need to vote on behalf of the innocent kid in Iran who might be bombed pre-emptively if we elect a warrior president. I need to vote for the poor farmers in Sierra Leone - whose lives would be way better if we had a president dedicated to using American power as a good neighbor, not as an imperial power. That sort of thing comes to mind.

Ironically, for those of us who believe that heaven is a gift of grace, not something we have to work for or achieve ... we of all people really don't need to be preoccupied with that any more, so we should be of all people most free and ready to invest our lives for the least, the last, and the lost, as Jesus did.

In the book, I try to help people understand how to make a difference by looking at the world in terms of three interlocking systems - a prosperity system, a security system, and an equity system. I think that we can find ways to function in each of these systems according to kingdom-of-God values ... and we can be agents of the kingdom in all our daily actions.


you are a spiritual activist, calling out some things that you believe are wrong with the system. how do you live out what God has layed on your heart even though the system doesn't like it very much? does it make you angry, others' responses to you, calling you a liberal heretic among other things? what do you do with your anger? how do you not get cynical? (we are taking notes)

If religion is the opiate of the masses, as Marx said, then cynicism is the opiate of intellectuals and the graveyard of activists who burn out. So you're so wise to see the dangers of cynicism and bottled up anger - which turns to bitterness and ruins your ability to serve others in love. I don't like being criticized, but I try to keep a few things in mind. First, as the singer Jackson Browne said, if you have a few real true friends, somehow all the other ones are easier to bear. So I cherish my friends as never before when I find a lot of people lining up as critics.

Second, I remember I'm a sinner, which normally isn't very hard because I'm constantly proving the fact. The worst thing anyone has ever said about me isn't as bad as what I know about myself, and nothing compared to what God knows about me. In this way, critics are what you could call "cruel friends" - they do you an immense service of helping keep you humble. Third, I try to remember that people who criticize me are just doing what they think is right. I've criticized a lot of people unfairly or in ignorance myself through the years, so how can I be angry at others for doing what I myself have done? Fourth, I remember Scriptures like Paul's words in Colossians, where we're called to forgive others as God has forgiven us in Christ, or I recall the Lord's prayer, where Jesus teaches me to forgive as I would have God forgive me.

Fifth, I realize that I can learn a lot from criticism. Some is just mean, and you have to filter that out. But some criticism is constructive and a great learning opportunity. Sixth, I pray a lot. There's a beautiful prayer someone gave me - it's by a Serbian Orthodox bishop, and it's called "prayer for enemies." People can find it on my website .... brianmclaren.net. That prayer has helped me so much, I can hardly say. It begins, "Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them." Then it lists all the ways enemies and critics help us. "Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so do I, pursued by enemies, find safer shelter in the shadow of your wings" - it's really beautiful and inspiring and challenging.

But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't add that sometimes I just fail and the anger gets the best of me, and I start to get discouraged and overwhelmed. Often, at that point, God sends along some encouragement through a friend or a reader or someone I meet. So ultimately, I feel that I'm upheld by a power far greater than I can take any credit for.

there are all kinds of labels people have given to describe you--liberal, nonorthodox, neoevangelical. how would you like to be described?

Hmmm. I guess I'd like to be known as a fallible human being who is trying to learn to follow Jesus. As a human being, I have something in common with everyone in the world - Jewish, Muslim, atheist, Catholic, Protestant, whatever. And as someone trying to learn to follow Jesus, I am called to serve everyone and love them as my neighbor, which flows from loving the God who loves us all. But my guess is that this can't be reduced to a functional label very well!


okay, last question, this is a practical one. the refuge is a rag-tag community of Christ-followers. we're pretty messed up ourselves, without alot of resources, but we have huge hearts to impact the Kingdom. what are some things we could do as individuals to do to start a "revolution of hope" in a really practical way?

At the end of "Everything Must Change," I really grapple with this question, and I decide not to come up with a list, but simply to focus on one thing: faith. I believe the most radical thing we can do is to disbelieve the many framing stories that are given to us, and believe the story given to us by Jesus.

If we have that shift in confidence, I think it will work out in a thousand really exciting ways. In fact, we'll be developing a blog where people can share ideas about what they're doing and how it's going. And that will be a major function of the tour we're doing early next year too - to help people dream together and share ideas.

Thankfully, there are so many great organizations that we can team up with. Amahoro-africa.org, floresta.org, sojo.net, emergentvillage.com, World Vision, the One Campaign and the MIcah Challenge are some of my favorites.

But let me just add one more practical idea. I think passionate people like you all could do something really interesting and enjoyable: throw parties for your neighbors. Just get people together. Have some games, help people get-acquainted, have some good food, wear name tags, share email addresses and phone numbers. Then the host could say something like this: "I'm really glad everyone came over, because I think we all feel that the world needs a lot of change, and I'm hoping we can try to be good neighbors for each other. In other words, we know the world needs a lot of change, and we can make a little start there by being the kind of neighborhood that would make the world a better place. That's why we wanted to get everyone together, and if you have any ideas, I'm ready to help." Then see if anyone has an idea. No prayers, no sermons, just an act of good will toward your neighbors. I think that if a bunch of us did this sort of thing, pretty soon people would be talking about God, because a good neighbor is a sign of the kingdom of God, at least I think that's one thing Jesus was telling us.

brian mclaren is an author, speaker, pastor, and networker among innovative Christian leaders, thinkers, and activists. married to Grace, they have four young adult children. you can learn more about brian & organizations he is involved with at www.brianmclaren.net.

check out info for the everything must change 2008 tour here (tracy howe collaborated with brian on a CD that is companion to the book & is part of the tour. details here)

to order everything must change, click here

check out this brian mclaren YOUTUBE video for an overview of everything must change

the refuge goes off the map!

when we started the refuge last year we were a wreck. literally. a small group of us had left a megachurch wounded & disenfranchised but full of dreams of the way we longed to live out our faith. most days we woke up doubting ourselves, ready to quit even though we had just started. then, over a qdoba burrito & an hours worth of kathy’s tears, our friend tracy howe shared some of the fewest but most powerful words in the life of the refuge “you guys need to make some new friends…” she invited us to the off the map conference in seattle and assured us that she’d introduce us to a bunch of people who wouldn’t think we were crazy. we went. we were bold and introduced ourselves to as many of these new thinkers we could possibly meet. and we went home feeling a little more certain we were at least on the right path.

now, year 2 for off the map has marked just how far we’ve come. this year we brought 11 others with us to seattle (the conference was november 1-3rd). we actually knew people and we didn’t feel like middle schoolers at their first dance. people actually knew about the refuge and we don’t feel crazy anymore.

off the map is not the kind of conference where you get a spiritual high and then come home and don’t remember anything you learned. it’s hard to describe, but it is much more steady. solid. deep. it just sort of gets under your skin and makes you think. about God. about community. about living out the ways of Jesus in really practical ways. about the tension of our faith in these changing times. our team crashed on the floor of a wonderful church called vineyard community church in shoreline & spent a lot of time processing, laughing, eating & dreaming. we of course felt cool because our new friend jim henderson, the director of off the map, actually knows us and made us feel so loved (along with everyone else at the conference!). sage played his steel guitar in one of the main venues (we were so proud). kathy & karl got to share the refuge story at ken loyd’s “cheap church planting” workshop. there are so many highlights, but we thought those that went could share the takeaways so that those of you who wonder what’s going on in the big kingdom of God can get a taste, too. check out the many links, so many committed people living it out. enjoy & hope you’ll consider joining us next year!

amber lane: listening to some of the speakers, a passion surfaced in me that has long been dormant for social justice. especially within ‘religious’ institutions, and the question that I keep asking myself…how can I be part of something that upholds my values for social justice, and not part of something that opposes it either knowingly or unknowingly. i was reminded that this world is a hard one to live in if you’re not part of the majority, whether that be anglo-saxon, heterosexual, non-addicted, or thin. it is devastatingly difficult. given the difficulty we somehow make it through the day, maybe so we can continue to challenge the norms. whatever the reason, we are not alone and we can do this thing called life together.

christa romig-leavitt: "we will die with many, many, many unanswered questions. but we are paving pathways for our children in which they will live out christianity in beautiful and unimagined ways. in justice and love. In creativity." ... "we are dis-membered. what if we started re-membering." the first quote is from a woman. the second from a man. i heard them both in Seattle. they make me think...let us all keep going. let us stay on this journey of question making to discover and re-member Jesus. let us do our best to stay dirty and resist the temptation to clean our hands. let us be okay with more questions than answers. let us keep loving.

john nunez: the thing that has stuck in my brain the most happened the first night. someone from up front spoke about a conversation they had with a woman while checking into their hotel. "if you were to come back to christianity/this whole church thing, what would you want/need?" she said acceptance. i thought how crazy it is that after 2000 yrs and a whole lot of talking, training, building, spending, discipling, memorizing, growing, claiming, praying about Jesus...the church/christians still suck at accepting. do we get forgiven and accepted mixed up? (check out what i mean http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance) and i thought..... when a christian does accept a 'lost' or even a 'damaged' person, what kind of pressure to change or "repent" comes with it? Jesus' style of acceptance is probably so beautiful and elegant that when it's really displayed in the world, it's unrecognizable.

john parks: off the map was intriguing. it seems like we christians are beginning to experience the heart of God differently today. i started to step back and really look at my theology. faith is not so much about having all the right answers or having every base covered or even being able to defend my beliefs with the Bible. all that has a role but if I don’t love and accept people with actions just like Jesus did my testimony will always be a hollow reflection of God’s tremendous love for us. i was inspired to continue to lean into God’s love so that it can flow through me into His world and people everywhere.

jose escobar: loved the conference, but more so than anything, even though I got there late, i loved the time hanging out with everyone that went from the refuge. related to the conference, I liked the concepts and the diverse speakers, men, women, white, black, christian, and muslim, but it was also marked by a fairly non-diverse crowd. my favorite part of the conference though was the bridge service that we went to. i really loved the creativity, energy, and the music and songs (of which they wrote themselves). the service is really where i came out excited about we're trying to do at the refuge. all in all, it was a cool weekend!

leslie kaczeus: sadell bradley of equipping ministries international read excerpts from the willie lynch letter and let's make a slave in her workshop. i had never heard this and it sickened me, saddened me, and gave me a deeper understanding of the generations of brokenness and anger that our friends have lived through. she is an amazing woman. if you ever have a chance to hear her speak, don't miss it! i also enjoyed the workshop on making friends with witches by phil wyman who is pastor at the gathering in salem, MA. he reinforced my thoughts about how normal people are that practice pagan religions and that we shouldn't be afraid to build relationships with them. overall, it was just so incredibly inspiring to see so many people building bridges in ways and places that most of us couldn’t imagine would ever happen. thanks so much for inviting me along and making me feel so welcome!

karl wheeler: once again i experienced the confirming and marvelous joy of a bar set low. so low, that all who wish are able to march right over, head held high and dignified. after 30 years of conferences which should have all been subtitled “beat the sheep” or “wow, you are a sucky christian." OTM is meaningful to me for its simple agenda of making friends, hearing from others, and setting the table of hospitality in all we do.

kathy escobar: one of the highlights for me was hanging out with our friends at the bridge worship service at on the house/church of the undignified in capital hill. agents of future rocks. loved chatting with jeff & jason from santa barbara’s uffizi mission project, deeply committed to their homeless friends & incarnational ministry with no programming. hearing rose swetman say “being missional is not having a cool service. who cares what band you have? i’m so tired of caring about what the meeting looks like. but what i care about is are you being the new humanity, and the presence of Christ in your neighborhood?” favorite quote: “people with power never think about it; people without power think about it all the time.” thomas friedman, quoted by brian mclaren who really is one of the most gentle but powerfully simple speakers i have ever heard.

mike herzog: i connected with brian mclaren and how the church is like music. the old way is like classical with exact notes lead by a conductor (a lead pastor). the new way is like jazz different people playing different notes in the context of a chart (shared leadership). both are playing the right music, just differently. and we could not have our jazz without their classical music. another thing about classisal vs jazz--there are no women, or native americans or africian americans etc. that wrote wrote classical, but many of the marginalized play jazz. my best take away was to practice what church is really about, being in real relationship with people.

sage harmos: i had the priviledge of playing music for OTM this year. my playing partner, jeff greer, is a young and intensely talented musician. he also is bald, has an orange goatee a half a foot long, and wears a kilt. my highlight was when a couple wearing western clothing (and the fellow had an american flag on his hat) thanked me and said how moving the music was for them. they come from a pentecostal evangelical church, and love to hear the steel guitar (usually country) in worship music. it had the spirit which they love in worship. they were so happy that we weren't throwing the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to renewing our way of living out our faith. no one was "too cool" or "uncool" in our time together as conferencegoers. all were truly welcome.

we'll end with this...from nate blegger's blog, a conversation between he and ken loyd, the pastor of home, a new plant from the bridge committed to the homeless in portland. nate says, "i usually end up expressing to folks that the thing that gets me most is the “slowness.” “slowness! that’s the point!!” ken said. “you will be an instant success in maybe four or five years… you have to do things that are completely un-extraordinary. don’t do anything special or spectacular. this is how you will be legendary.” he went on to say that so many churches out there are trying to do extraordinary things. it is getting tiring for people. we just have to be normal and engage people where they are at with the absolutely normal things of life."

other conference bloggers that linked to the refuge:
john smulo
(hey, check out john's cool post from earlier this year "be like jesus" so good)
erin at decompressing faith

KATHY - meat lovers beware! our taste buds have been contaminated

“i want some meat!”

“i wish we could get more meat!”

"we really need more meat!"

i know those of you who are struggling to buy groceries are thinking the same thing. but i’m talking about a different kind of meat that has nothing to do with grocery stores but everything to do with church. i have heard the cry for “meat” within the church ever since i became a true-blue evangelical church-going christian. when i entered into a season of spiritual and emotional healing about 14 years ago I remember demanding it myself. things started getting a little intense in my women’s group (people were really sharing honestly from their heart, not holding back, going the distance instead of faking it) and i told my group leader “i really wish we used the Bible more in here, i really want more meat! i really want to grow...” (i am now of course so embarrassed that I said this & after having seen the light a few years later confessed to her for not recognizing then that what we were doing in that little group was far more than just some stupid slab of spiritual meat—it was actually the whole cow!). but i was not alone in this kind of thinking. i hear it all the time, although now it is like nails on a chalkboard to me, maybe even like all of my children’s nails on a chalkboard all at once. and as you all know that is a lot of fingernails!

here’s what i think people mean by “meat.”

1. “Bible knowledge” - as in scripture verses and telling us exactly what they are supposed to mean. the more the better. a little bit of hebrew or greek translation adds the perfect spice.

2. “teaching” - teachers telling people what they think they need to learn or know in a very specific clear way so that we feel like we got a “lesson”, something motivating.

3. “certainty” – these are the facts and we are 100% certain that’s what this means and on top of that we are certain this is what you are supposed to do with this knowledge, too.

4. “a touch of shame” – some kind of moment that gets created when you think “now I’ll try harder….I need to be more godly…I am convicted and now this week I will get rid of that sin for good.”

while none of those things are inherently “wrong” what gets to me about all of them is they are sort of irrelevant to the gospel of Jesus. in fact, he said over and over to the religious leaders who had these 4 things mastered up and down, backwards & forwards, “ummm, guys, you are missing the point. here’s all that you need to do—be like me.” he didn’t say “go to a room, feed your belly with knowledge, get inspired and go home feeling spiritually fat.” he said, “hang out with the outcasts, the losers, the nonreligious, the prostitutues, the sick (oh, and by the way, that means you), get in touch with your brokenness & need for me and practice the way of self-sacrifice, generosity of spirit, humility and love. yes, my friends, this is what will change the world.”

i love the Bible. i think scripture can be transforming. but i also believe we have dismissed that true spiritual maturity is a life of serving others in tangible ways, humbling ourselves to the lowest place, giving up our comfort, money, time, pride for the sake of others. remember, the word of God became flesh, and that is what He did.

i think when we are honest what we really want is to be spoonfed spiritual milk and are terrified of true, tasty, Jesus steaks. most of the people i have been around through the years who demand “meat” are great, sincere believers. but usually their expressed desire for “meat” is actually them running for the safety of others who are more socially acceptable and sound more godly.

you see, the church has contaminated our taste buds. we have been taught to think that “spiritual” must include Bible knowledge, certainty, teaching, a touch of shame (and healing that looks like good behavior) so we keep seeking after it, church after church, Bible study after Bible study. but honestly, what it seems like to me is that people keep learning but never really apply much. we’re lonely but we never connect. we keep slipping in and out of services but never engage with a hurting person beyond “hi, nice to meet you.” we keep going to Bible studies & church meetings & services & prayer times hoping we’ll become more like Jesus and end up insulating ourselves more and more from the very places Jesus always was hanging out.

so here’s my soapbox mantra for the past 5 years or so, everytime I hear someone demand “meat”….“okay, no problem, look around. i see freezer after freezer full of it.”

reach out to someone in need no matter how messy it seems. help the poor. sacrifice your time and money. restore a broken relationship. love the outcast, especially the person that bugs the hell out of you. spend the time you waste watching TV investing in a person, no matter how young or old. stop nagging your spouse and change your behavior. serve someone else. open your home to others. force yourself to do something uncomfortable. get your head around the reality that you’re just as messed up as ‘those people’. humble yourself and let another person into your life. stay in a friendship for the long haul instead of running away.

and here’s what i believe usually happens next—never directly, always subtly—“nah, that kind of meat, i can do without. when does the next Bible study start?”

our taste buds have been contaminated. Jesus’ ways sometimes don’t initially taste too good going down. but for me, i have to say, nothing’s better than the aftertaste-- the quiet moments when I notice where God’s spirit worked, what He is teaching me about me, life, humanity in the midst, and the beauty in the ugliness.

i know a lot of people think that at the refuge we are drinking milk. it sure tastes like steak to me.